Us v. Them? On being a woman in indie culture
Being a woman in the indie community doesn’t only mean putting up the fact that misogynist lyrics or attitudes presented by indie artists doesn’t raise a single eyebrow in the indie media. It doesn’t just mean having to deal with dismissal of the fact that misogyny in such a culture even exists, either. Being a woman and at the same time being part of indie culture means having to prove, every single day, that you are there by your own accord.
This manifests itself in the widespread assumption that any woman who shows interest in indie music was originally introduced to it by a man, and that her continued interest has to be fueled by (a desire to impress) him. Basically, she cannot move about in any ‘indie’ spaces, may they be on the internet or at a concert venue, without the supposal that behind her is the raging shadow of a man who is more worldly and knowledgeable about the culture and music than she is.
This does not only strip women of our agency, and supposes that we are unable to become interested in and research things on our own. This creates a demand for women to continuously justify our presence in indie spaces by showcasing that we are not, in fact, like those other women. But no matter how much knowledge we display, no matter how much we distance ourselves from women who do not fit this ridiculous standard, and no matter how much we insist that our involvement in indie culture is by or own initiative, we can’t win.
Because being accepted into the indie community isn’t really a victory. It requires the creation of a false dichotomy that demands you declare yourself more worthy than other women. It frequently also means separating yourself from women artists, because any music a woman writes and/or performs can be doomed sentimental, overtly emotional, weak and of poor quality at the drop of a hat.
And once you’ve proven yourself, what is in front of you? Having to put up with the abundant misogynist attitudes than run rampant in indie culture, because calling them out means you’re a ‘sour feminist’. And even if you adhere to them - even if you’re ready to declare that fellow women are less talented, less intelligent and less capable of performing or appreciating music - you will still have to deal with constantly having to prove yourself, and being infantilized and belittled. No action, not even one readily upholding kyriarchal attitudes - will make the indie community take you as seriously as if you were a (straight, white, fully abled, cis) man.
This post does could have offered a simple explanation as to why I’d withdrawn from the community completely. Instead it is a collection of the reasons why I’m so interested in supporting women artists and bloggers, why I’m constantly trying to carve a place for myself in this community completely on my own terms, and why I think that what Britt has started is relevant, important and wonderful. And the next time a thirtysomething dude condescendingly asks what a little girl like me is doing at an indie show, I will ask him to shut the fuck up.
